This is so new for me, I’m Not a Blogger. But it was a strong suggestion by two good friends to do this as a way to communicate to the people that care, and perhaps benefit someone that at some point might go thru a similar experience. So here it is:
Last week, I found out that I have Cancer. Yes, The Big “C”. Perhaps is my Aquarius nature of being an original but turns out the type of Cancer I have is an extremely rare one too: Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma, which by its Greek roots, basically means tumor-like cancer of the glands, and the location of it (according to my doctor) is an even more unusual one, the Middle Ear Canal. Dr. Ditirro, or Saint Ditirro, how I like to refer to him, told me yesterday that in his over 30 years of practice he has never seen a case like this.
It started about 7 or so months ago, just before X-mas when I had the sensation of perpetual air in my ear, and of loosing a little bit of my hearing but no pain. Later we discovered it was a little ball of tissue covering over 90% of the ear canal, and every ENT doctor that got to inspected it, was pretty convinced it was something benign. One emergency doctor even diagnosed it as Swimmers Ear infection. Anyhow they needed it to removed it and biopsy it but none thought it would be something serious… Well after three excruciatingly painful attempts to inject a two inch needle in my ear, with little or no anesthesia, they finally decided to give me the good drugs and do the procedure under full sedation.
Thanks goodness for nurses that advocate for patients!!
Mine, took the form of a little guardian angel, named Daphne, who for my good fortune, was the person in charge of responding to my phone call, when my previous doctor would not, and for my sake decided to be in the room in their next attempt to do the procedure locally. It was thru her that I ended up in the much better hands of Saint Ditirro, who by the way is actually the head of the EMT Department, and not only a great doctor he plainly has the best patient care I have ever seen.
Well turns out that my seemly benign stubborn piece of tissue, that bled easily, was a malign tumor. Most of it was removed two weeks ago but now more work needs to be done.
If you are wondering how I’m doing? Well... I’m braving it out, facing it head on and moving on with my life - which I realized is such precious thing that most just take for granted. The day I received the diagnosis, I had an audition and kept it. The next day I went to Yoga with my good friend Cathryn (I’m also so not a yogi), and did a hands stand for the first time in my life…that was exhilarating…can wait to try again.
Is it scary to be my age, a freelancer in LA, sometimes scrambling to get by and be diagnosed with Cancer? Well…heck Yeah!! Especially with my family history, in which sadly quite a few members have been taken by one form or the other of this disease, but it is precisely because of them, that I’m extremely determined to beat this. The Buck Has to Stop Here.
I won’t lie, I’m human and do have my moments. Last Sunday I thought I was doing so well and all of the sudden it daunted me all the ramifications of the situation and gosh did I broke down uncontrollably in the middle of a public auditorium. Luckily I have really amazing, amazing friends that were right there to pick me up…
Please there is no need to act weird around me the next time you see me, or to call less or more than you normally would. I’m NOT dying of this, I’m temporarily living with it. I promise to post here how things progress… because forgive me but it just gets a bit taxing to have to retell the story several times. Repeating the diagnosis, test results, as my friend Kimberly said, makes me live in the disease…and not my life – thus the reason of the blog.
I realized it is important to be open about it and don’t hide it. That will just give more power to Cancer, and I’m so darn tired of the mystified terrified notion that there seems to be around this disease. Also hiding away, like you did something wrong, prevents you from getting the kind of support & encouragement that is so embraced in times like this. My doctor explained to me yesterday, this has nothing to do with a diet, lifestyle, or the fact I love the ocean. It just is. Cancer happens to kids, teenagers, and individuals of all ages that are active, seemly perfectly healthy people.
I do welcome healing thoughts, prayers, and any kind love you want to send my way. Funny jokes and stories are things I’m always happy to be on the receiving end. Is summer in LA, my all time favorite season!!! So if you are around and want to go for hike or near the beach do let me know!
If you want to write or leave comment I guess you can do it here (this blog thing still so Alien to me) or send me an email, or letter…always very happy to hear what my friends are up to…
Wishing everyone a joyful summer and hoping you are making good use of your time,
much peace and love. --- Liana
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