Team HOPE...In Good Company

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This is one is all about some of my  fellow "team mates" ....I thought they deserved their own post. 

After I left my first meeting at the Radiation Oncology Dept, I cried on my way home because for the first time since this whole ordeal started I actually felt like a “Cancer Patient”. All of us there had it, and the information from the doctors with all the ifs and lack of certainty was just too much. The fellow ladies in the waiting room were all comparing notes on their treatments. One even showed me the skin discolorations in her chest (pretty darn black) “You get roasted like a chicken” another one said…But the good news though is that I’m actually in pretty good company. Most of the cancer patients I’ve met have the best sense of humor, so much courage… full of good advice..

Here are a few of them:

1)      Don’t be put off treatments, the sooner you start, the sooner you will end. (I think this is applicable to any unpleasant situation or actions we are trying to avoid in life)

2)       On my concern of darkening of the skin: should be last of your worries… when you are dealing with your life.

3)      Surround yourself only with positive upbeat people – avoid drama. (true not just for Cancer)

4)       If you they say "no" to you, ask some one else, until you get the answer you need.

5)      Take things one day at the time, one thing at time, and don’t forget to laugh. On feeling overwhelmed with too many things on your plate and not knowing where to start.    

This last one, sounds so simple, yet at least for me is a slow one to learn. 

The Team Motto

Almost all of them are at least a good 20 years older, some of them with much more serious conditions. There was couple on my second visit, he has stage 4 brain cancer – a pretty dismal prognosis. And we were making fun, comparing our scars. Is gotten to the point the wife has to drive him & help him with everything. I never seem a couple bicker so much, and at same time show that much love for each other. There was another lady, that after undergoing treatments all week, she told me goes and work 8-10 hrs days over the weekend cleaning at a hotel. She said that it is not just for the money, (she could have easily gone on disability) it makes her feel productive. One of my favorites, was this little 70 something old lady that came up literally dancing out of the radiation room with her cane, announcing she was ready to go home and lay up butt naked in her bed… to put on the moisturizing cream up her tushy. (She is fighting colon cancer…) and she will pray her grandson won’t walk in on her like he did last time.

Oooh, seeing them, hearing them, makes me wonder what good bits of wisdom I’ll be able to develop from all this… that I could pass on to someone else. No idea…yet, but they are marinating…I’ll keep you posted.

PLAYING THE ODDS

I’ve come to realize I put off writing in the blog because it reminds me that I’m still dealing with this...And a huge, huge part of me so wants to forget even if it  is only temporally about it, although it is taking a good chunk of my daily life. I go to medical appointments at least twice a week if not more…And pretty soon (tomorrow) it will be daily.  

Like in Poker, gotta Know your Odds 

To win with the hand you've been dealt 

So yupe, we are going thru with radiation. Felt a bit like playing poker. It took 3 mtgs with oncologists, 2 consultations with surgeons, about a week worth of sleepless nights, and, not easy to admit, many tearing up sessions with my favorite therapist – my faithful little black Nissan versa – to convinced me. (Yeah, I have the most amazing sessions, full of  a-ha moments in the highway)

Basically sparing you all the medical jungle bungle…the odds of nipping this in the bud & giving me better chances of preventing a nasty relapse by going thru radiation by far out weight the probabilities of the scary long term side effects & the casualties in the short term (skin, some hair, hearing etc...) Like the good card player I am, I like to play the odds, and play to win. So although nothing is certain, if I can do something to help prevent more surgeries or more compromising treatments  in the future, I want to do it.

So we are all set: the plan have been designed, I got my own personal “Phantom of the Opera” mask for the sessions, and a few days ago we did the final fitting and simulation at the big machine…Is a bit claustrophobic but it doesn’t last too long…

 I started enlisting a couple friends from when I might need help with things, (it wasn’t as hard as I thought it will)  and I did signed up for the American Cancer Society program that have volunteers that can drive you to treatments, just in case.

 

My main concern, is that call me “Loca”, but I want to keep on working, and living life as usual, as much as possible. According to the doctors is doable. The technician said that although it might seem contradictory, patients who try to keep up with their activities usually experience less fatigue, and fight off the side effects better…As a freelancer I don’t  have the luxury of  medical leave - so not working is not really a choice I can afford. But also knowing that I juggle 2 to 4 jobs at time, driving all over town in LA, I have resigned myself that I might have to scale down…The doctors don’t know yet if my coordination/balance might be compromised during treatments– thus the concern with driving in hectic traffic LA.

My dad told me, that like a former New Yorker, I'm used to my life being a constant “corre-corre” and that it might be too optimistic of me to expect to keep up the same pace as treatment progress. I don’t know why he keeps blaming one of my favorite cities for what I think is genetics…Anyway, too optimistic, hum…maybe, ....probably. But heck, I’m sure going to try. Like I just heard in a movie: “You don’t know how far you can go, unless you run”