PLAYING THE ODDS

I’ve come to realize I put off writing in the blog because it reminds me that I’m still dealing with this...And a huge, huge part of me so wants to forget even if it  is only temporally about it, although it is taking a good chunk of my daily life. I go to medical appointments at least twice a week if not more…And pretty soon (tomorrow) it will be daily.  

Like in Poker, gotta Know your Odds 

To win with the hand you've been dealt 

So yupe, we are going thru with radiation. Felt a bit like playing poker. It took 3 mtgs with oncologists, 2 consultations with surgeons, about a week worth of sleepless nights, and, not easy to admit, many tearing up sessions with my favorite therapist – my faithful little black Nissan versa – to convinced me. (Yeah, I have the most amazing sessions, full of  a-ha moments in the highway)

Basically sparing you all the medical jungle bungle…the odds of nipping this in the bud & giving me better chances of preventing a nasty relapse by going thru radiation by far out weight the probabilities of the scary long term side effects & the casualties in the short term (skin, some hair, hearing etc...) Like the good card player I am, I like to play the odds, and play to win. So although nothing is certain, if I can do something to help prevent more surgeries or more compromising treatments  in the future, I want to do it.

So we are all set: the plan have been designed, I got my own personal “Phantom of the Opera” mask for the sessions, and a few days ago we did the final fitting and simulation at the big machine…Is a bit claustrophobic but it doesn’t last too long…

 I started enlisting a couple friends from when I might need help with things, (it wasn’t as hard as I thought it will)  and I did signed up for the American Cancer Society program that have volunteers that can drive you to treatments, just in case.

 

My main concern, is that call me “Loca”, but I want to keep on working, and living life as usual, as much as possible. According to the doctors is doable. The technician said that although it might seem contradictory, patients who try to keep up with their activities usually experience less fatigue, and fight off the side effects better…As a freelancer I don’t  have the luxury of  medical leave - so not working is not really a choice I can afford. But also knowing that I juggle 2 to 4 jobs at time, driving all over town in LA, I have resigned myself that I might have to scale down…The doctors don’t know yet if my coordination/balance might be compromised during treatments– thus the concern with driving in hectic traffic LA.

My dad told me, that like a former New Yorker, I'm used to my life being a constant “corre-corre” and that it might be too optimistic of me to expect to keep up the same pace as treatment progress. I don’t know why he keeps blaming one of my favorite cities for what I think is genetics…Anyway, too optimistic, hum…maybe, ....probably. But heck, I’m sure going to try. Like I just heard in a movie: “You don’t know how far you can go, unless you run”